Whalesong

I feel like a shallow pond,

I can see the bottom,

I know where all the stones are

I recognize the small fish

Swimming around being thoughts

And the waving water weeds pretending to be feelings,

Then every so often,

Without warning

Mostly without calling

I look down and there is not bottom at all

Only empty space

And a great whale is rising from the rich darkness

His flanks turning and shining

And it is him..

I know him

More intimately than even I know the small pond

Where I spend so much time

I know him deep and true

And completely

And as he rises and turns

And that eye flashes and calls to the great sky above

To make the water and heavens one.

Love calls to love,

Father calls to son,

And the love that gave birth to it all

Is there again

Where it never left

in the throne of my heart

And I’m gasping with wonder and…

and then I’m back in the pond

Me and the frogs and the lily pads,

No whale, just some minnows and sticklebacks

But the pond bed doesn’t look quite so solid

As it once did

and when I tilt me head a little, just so

I’m pretty sure that’s whale song I hear

Somewhere far away

and

close

as

my

breath.

The lord of the universe dwells in my heart.

Obviously I’m grateful.

What do you get for the one who has everything?

I offer the most expensive gifts I have,

Moments gathered from another day with feet and hands and breath.

Miriam’s laughter as she farts abruptly at the dinner table,

Six swans breaking the freezing air with their wings,

Drawing a white arc across a golden, darkening sky,

The taste of grumpiness when my peaceful breakfast is obliterated

By my wonderful, chaotic, irritating, delightful family,

A hand in mine and that place at the back of her neck…

Forgetting and remembering and forgetting again.

I lay my simple gifts at the temple door

Which opens like a smile

And offers me a love like a secret, perfect kiss.